My 2 year old son called "Mommy" about six times before I finally looked up from my phone. I was updating my to-do list. Groceries, cooking dinner, laundry, answer work emails, readings for school, bath time... Some days it seems like that list goes on forever. I felt bad as I realized my toddler was trying to show me his art work. Immediately I felt a pang of guilt. I had a very busy week and my quality time with my son was limited. My mind was distracted as I try to watch him draw his impressive scribbles.
Presence. I used to think I understood what that meant. "Of course I am present, I'm here aren't I?". I find my mind is often filled with tasks, lists, and upcoming projects. I recall what Jacqueline, our site supervisor told us on our first week of school. Set realistic expectations and call in for reinforcements. I realized I must ask my husband for help. Delegation is not my strong suit. I like crossing off things on my to-do list. I can't decide if it is because I like doing the work itself or ensuring it is completed to my liking. It probably is a bit of both.
I asked myself, "Am I fully present?" How often are we distracted? How many times do we try to multitask and end up with a mediocre product. This article was meaningful to remind me that life is about enjoying the process as well as the finished product. I also remember that a focused mind is a more productive mind.
image from peope-equation.com
And now my son is calling yet again. "Momma, more playtime!!!"
This made me sad but happy at the same time. I feel sad for you in your interaction with your son, but so happy for your son that he has a mother who is so acutely aware of how her actions affect him. He is very lucky. I am constantly reminding myself to stay in 'the now', especially when I am driving these days! I find it interesting how so often people experience a depression after the completion of a big event - whether it's athletics, academic or retirement - all things that people seem to look forward to. I wonder if we stayed present more, enjoying the journey, we would transition more easily. Anyway...as always enjoyed your post and it obviously got me thinking:)
ReplyDeleteHi Rose!
ReplyDeleteI like your comment on "Of course I am present, I'm here aren't I?" - it made me think about whether that is physical presence or mental presence, and what it really means to be 'present'. Thanks for sharing the article! I find that at work, I do get a lot of interruptions, not just from others but even myself! I would be doing one thing but my mind would sometimes remind me to do something else; am I really 'present' and effectively working that way? Well from that article, clearly not! I think we all need to find a way to balance everything so it suits our comfort level. On another note, I'm sure your son appreciates that you are attentive to his needs and artwork despite your busy week ;) See you soon!